Bird's Tails

Aloha from the top of the State

Hawaii '05
Aloha from the top of the State

Thursday, November 3 Darkness

3:15 am
We are picked up outside of Hotel Somethingorother in Lanaikaii, Maui and put in a van of already half asleep people. We are asked what we want for breakfast in 8 hours. Then we zoom off for base camp.

3:56 am
We pass this sign outside that said, “My Boss said to put something up so I did.” It is a Hawaiin Rental real estate company. Still groggy.

4:10 am
We reach base camp and all pile out to gulp down coffee for some reason. The Guides load up the bikes and we all stand around and wait for something to happen. Back in the van we are all thankful we peed, pee-ed, P’d, whatever.

4:45 am
Riding in a van at 4 am in a state you don’t recognize with people you don’t know being driven by a man you’ve never met brings up a lot of questions. Like, what are you still doing awake? And what’s that smell? And why does he keep moving closer to me?

Darknes Falls Away

5:20 am
We arrive and are told to go and stand over there and watch the sky for an hour. We all move like pigeons. It’s 34 degrees. In hawaii. Nobody packed for this. 

5:37 am
The light begins to push the indigo out of the sky and the colors begin their dance across the horizon. You begin to realize that there are actual people standing next to you and not just ghosts in the mist. They stand there shivering in the birth of a new day just like you.

5:56 am
The light makes you feel as if you are the first one to touch it. The day dawns for you as you stand on the precipice of beginnings and it unfolds before you in a tapestry full of color and light.

6:02 am
As the inky darkness recedes you realize that you are standing on the lip of an enormous volcanic crater. Much bigger than you anticipated and you are thankful that the guide told you to stay in the designated areas. You look over to the other side and notice that you are above the clouds and you watch as the clouds zoom toward you and pour into the crater and down to the valley below.

6:18 am
There are always one or two people who can never follow directions. If you look to your left you will see a picture of a man standing in a yellow rain suit next to a red box he put his gear on whilst taking a smoke break. In the left of the picture you will notice a red and white sign which reads, “Danger: Highly flammable. No smoking withing 50 yards.” Ahh, the great outdoors.

Riding through clouds

6:48 am
The sun has arrived and we are to set off down the steepest road in the world. It drops over 3000 feet in less than 35 miles. And we are getting bikes specially made in NY for this ride. They are single gear heavily brakeing cruisers made of shining silver. After we wait for 6 other groups to begin the journey we are given our machines and told to cruise around the parking lot to get used to them. They are a little unstable but we are told they smooth out the faster you go. 

7:22 am
We begin our journey. 12 of us all in a line with the lightest in the front and the heaviest in the back. I am number 11. It is quite fun zooming around at speed of around 28 mph wearing a goofy modified motorcycle helmet and sunglasses through switchbacks and wet roads.

7:56 am
We’ve come to our first obstacle. A cloud sits on the road. One by one we disappear into it. You can barely make out the rider in front of you. Half because of the cloud and half because of the water on your sunglasses. You have to wipe them of periodically which is no easy task at 25 mph because you have to take one of your hands of of one of your brakes to do so. We all make it out alive albeit a little wetter.

8:40 am
We stop once for a photo op and a stretch and watch the other groups maneuver around the traffic and roadwork. You have to periodically pull over to the side or ride the shoulder to let cars pass. The views are quite lovely.

9:30 am
We make it to our breakfast stop. We are only the third group to arrive thanks to some suave maneuvering by our guide. This means that, since the restaurant only holds three groups at a time, we won’t have to wait for breakfast.

11:10 am
We arrive at out destination. A church dedicated to Father Francis. A Monk who dedicated his life to helping the lepers at the kalaupapa peninsula on Molokai live a fuller life. It is a small church beautiful inside and quiet outside.

What a ride. Breaking all the way down I only had to pedal twice for a total of about 30 yards. When you spend all day with strangers you learn a little about them. They were all newlyweds from the previous sunday. Must be that time of year.
Now we can all go surf.

Download haleakala_volcano2.pdf

Milo and his Portrait

Milo thought long and hard about the way he wanted to be seen. He had spent the last year perfecting his portraiture posing and had found the right pose and the right attitude. He prided himself on his meticulous preening and posture that it became a matter of pride to find the best portrait taker in the world to preserve his image for all time. The portrait taker was so good that he could only ever take one picture and he had to do it at the exact time scheduled so that he could make all of his other portraits. Milo had booked weeks in advance and was giddy with anticipation. So much so that the night before he had been unable to sleep. Tossing and turning in what little sleep he got, he dreamed of long stretches of sun and clouds incringing on his spot. Wherever he walked the cloud seemed to follow. When he woke he immediately called his make-up artist and put her to work. The time was nearing and he asked to be left alone in his preferred spot to meditate and calm himself. When the time came the portraiteur slipped quietly in while the staff waited outside. Five minutes later the Portraiteur slipped out and left without a word. Two weeks passed and Milo finally received his portrait. How disappointed he was to see himself fast asleep in his least regal pose, preserved for all time.